婚姻的前奏何其美好
美佳之窗 His Window 100（ Oct - Dec 2022 ）
林明威 & 杨紫琪
文：杨紫棋
俗语说男大当婚女大当嫁，但鲜少提起男人和女人要如何预备自己进入婚姻。原本背景、个性很不同的两个人，要怎样在婚姻中合一并幸福生活? 这是我所好奇的。
我和明威 (Ben) 恋爱6年。我们是小学同学、中学同学，一起在教会成长，大专毕业后相爱。今年，我们决定将爱情升华，走向婚姻。开启婚姻之旅的第一步就是婚前辅导，这是我们一致认同的。感谢导师们愿意给我们做婚前辅导，他们的陪伴和分享让我们更认识什么是婚姻。
婚前辅导过程中，了解到两人的特质都带着正反两面，需要学习彼此接纳，这件事是不简单的。我的成长过程没有分享感受与坦诚自己的机会，而明威生在都是男孩的家庭，不太关注坦诚感受。所以，我们认识到要如何与对方坦诚分享自己的感受，特别是在遇到冲突时，应该以对方可接受的方式来沟通，最重要是彼此了解和尊重。此外，我们也学习到须了解彼此的原生家庭。婚姻是两家人的事，当进入彼此的家庭时，能够成为桥梁，注入爱和温暖，建立融洽的家庭关系。除了建立关系，课程帮助我们如何筹备婚礼，规划将来家庭计划和开支，了解彼此对于未来家庭的期待。
婚前辅导实际帮助我们预备自己走入婚姻。与导师的互动，他们授予的经验，给予我们一个平台去学习分享自己，盼望未来的家庭能建立这样的氛围。幸福的婚姻并不是自然产生，而是需要两个人的委身、坦诚、尊重和爱才能慢慢建立。过程中跌倒软弱没关系，我们用一辈子的时间陪伴，一起成长和进步。感谢上帝，我们要结婚啦!
周怀善 & 杨楚容
婚姻辅导课程是重新了解自己和伴侣的旅程。何师母辅导我们，让我们去思考，并把最现实的情况都提前告诉我们。感恩有这个机会参与 8 堂的婚姻辅导课，帮助我们认识自己的性格和原生家庭，婚姻的目的、期待，理财，能够让我们有所准备。踏入婚姻，真的是需要彼此用心地经营，沟通。最重要的是能在基督里有同样的价值观，知道我们两个都是罪人，都并不完美，无法改变对方，要懂得如何接纳和自己不一样的伴侣。
Seong Jun & Renatii
We were high school sweethearts and have been in courtship for almost a decade. As such, the thought of taking our relationship to the next level has always been lingering in our minds. However, little did we realise the magnitude of things that would hit us whilst preparing ourselves for this new beginning.
As a couple worshipping Christ together, we were encouraged to attend a pre-marital counselling course. Undeniably, our first thought of this was terrifying because of the stigma that surrounds the word ‘counselling.’ Even sharing with our family and friends that we were going through pre-marital counselling was not an easy task. Let us also not forget the various reactions that we received when doing so. However, little did we realise how wrong the perceptions of pre- marital counselling are, ours included.
Our counsellor, Mrs Ho, dived into the essential aspects of a marriage throughout the sessions whilst dissecting our relationship and lives to identify strengths, pain points and potential growth areas. Besides this, honest communication was strongly emphasised throughout our sessions for us to fully reap the benefits of this pre-marital counselling journey. Ultimately, this rubbed off onto us as a couple and improved our interactions with each other.
After experiencing the pre-marital counselling course first hand, we are willing to put our marriage as an exhibit to demonstrate the value of Mega CMC’s pre- marital counselling. It has helped equip us to walk on this path of marriage and reap the joys that come along with it. Yes, marriage may be a journey between two people, but God has surrounded us with such competent and dedicated people who are willing to listen, guide and counsel; you stand to lose nothing by receiving this gift.
范德祥 & 钟惠俐
感谢上帝，让我们有机会来上婚前辅导课。世界的价值观是夫妻彼此要求的关系 50% 对 50%，你做了你的本份，我才要尽我的本份，这个是一个谎言。以基督为中心的关系是 100% 对 100%。即使对方还没改变，我依然做好我的 100%; 即使在争吵，依然要做好自己的 100%。接受辅导时我们必须彼此坦诚。我们探讨了很多的课题，如知彼知己，夫妻之道，沟通互动，婚姻期望等等。让我们知道需要委身和自已先改变而不强求对方改变。谢谢导师告诉我们以后会面对的问题，让我们更了解彼此。我们是如此蒙恩。我们坚信，婚姻里有上帝必定是蒙福的，美好的婚姻能荣耀上帝，只要我们永远跟随基督。
连翎翔 & 潘皓嫣
感恩教会提供这么好的婚姻辅导课程，让来自破碎家庭的我们在步入婚姻前，增添了信心。导师丰富的经验，让我们知道所面对的问题其实是许多夫妻都会遇到的，减少了我们很多担忧。课程里有许多讨论事项是我们平常生活中不会提起的，深入讨论每一个问题，能看清彼此的优点和缺点，也能更加了解对方的想法和期待。来自不同的原生家庭，成长环境和生活都让我们的性格和做事方法有很大的差异，使我们知道争执背后的原因。只要能学习站在对方的角度去思考了解当中的缘故，好好沟通，就可以减少以后吵架的次数。
透过婚姻辅导课程，我们知道两个不同背景和性格的人要步入婚姻一起生活，本来就是不容易的事，但只要我们肯依靠上帝，就有力量去改掉坏习惯，更能够放下身段，自我学习，彼此接纳、包容，建立一个合神心意的家庭，让神成为家庭的头，更要将这份信仰传承下一代。
感谢我们的导师愿意安排时间辅导我们，耐心地聆听和分析我们遇到的难题，让我们感受到满满的爱和关怀。我们相信，只要愿意让神来掌管我们的婚姻，加上导师的陪伴，让我们这段婚姻充满祝福。
Dictern Ng & Jannette Chong
Both of us come from very different family backgrounds and had very different experiences in life. Though we love each other, we had a lot of disagreements and arguments . However, we are blessed to have Mrs. Ho and our counsellors (Joanne & KV) to guide and advise us through this journey. We appreciate their time and patience in teaching us about dealing with anger, accepting each other’s personality, managing expectations and communication skills. A relationship is all about commitment and giving 100% in everything that we do, rather than 50/50.
Joanne and KV were very good role models for us. From their sharing, we learned about complimenting each other and praying together to God. Always seek God and put 100% trust in Him.
The learning process was not easy but with their guidance and God, we were able to change and become a better & more loving couple. We think it is a must for a couple to attend this pre marriage course. Lastly thousands of thanks to Mrs Ho, Joanne & KV for giving us this valuable course before entering our married life!
Jackie & Kar Yee
神的恩典让我们有机会婚前上宝贵的婚姻辅导课程，对彼此有更深入的了解。上课之前，我们没有信心去维持这段婚姻。然而上了这课，我们不但更了解彼此的优点，也渐渐认识彼此的缺点。我们明白到原生家庭所带来的影响，很多习惯和缺点背后都有它的故事，需要给彼此更多谅解和包容，婚姻生活才能越走越远。当然不单单只有包容，我们也要了解自己的缺点，尝试改变以塑造基督的品格。这课程让我们有信心去经营以神为中心的婚姻，如何面对将来在婚姻生活里可能会发生的冲突。课程也教导夫妻如何理财，如何筹备婚礼等等，给我们很大的帮助。
感谢美佳堂提供的婚姻辅导课程，让我们更了解基督家庭的婚姻。特别感谢导师细心带领，愿意牺牲时间帮助我们顺利完成这个课程。愿我们的婚姻一直以基督为中心，在婚姻生活中成长，建立圣洁的生活。