Connect with family
美佳之窗 His Window 99（ Jul - Sep 2022 ）
Text by Rev Phan Wu Zhung
Translated by Jacob Lee
What’s your perception and view on family? In general, we all regard family as a place full of warmth and love. However, we all know every family has its own set of problems which are incomprehensible to people outside. This is why so many TV series use family issues as their themes, because this would bring resonance to the audience. (however, more often than not, the scenes are exaggerated.)
The problems that modern families face today took place and were recorded as early as in the time of Genesis. For example, the dynamics between Isaac, Rebecca and their children.
Isaac and Rebecca were united in their heart
We shall first examine the marital relationship of Isaac and Rebecca. Their romance started when Abraham’s maid brought Rebecca to meet with Isaac. The scriptures described their meet up vividly and sentimentally. (Genesis 24:67) Isaac married Rebecca at the age of 40, however they couldn’t have children for many years, so Isaac prayed for Rebecca, as recorded in Genesis 25:21. Even though, this was recorded briefly, it was a long journey of prayers as Isaac was already 60 years old when the baby was born. ( Genesis 25:26 ). The long wait of 20 years showed their unity and trust in God, and their prayers were in line with God’s will (This can be seen in God’s answer to their prayers). We could then say Isaac and Rebecca loved each other very much and maintained an intimate relationship with God.
Parental biases
However, things changed when Esau and Jacob were born. Both the children were so different in their character and they were gifted in their own way. Esau was a swift hunter, he often brought back delicious wild meats from his hunt for his father, therefore, Isaac found favor in Esau. However, Jacob was content (content in the original text meant matured and firm, an indeed appropriate description of Jacob’s personality), he always stayed at home, so his mother, Rebecca loved him very much. (Genesis 25:27-28).
We would skip the story of how Jacob cheated the status of the eldest sonship, as this is not the main concern here. We wish to explore how the parents’ differing attitudes and treatment of the children developed into Rebecca’s intervention when Isaac wanted to bless Esau. Why is it so? God has once told Rebecca about her two sons, the older would serve the younger. (Genesis 25:23). Perhaps this was why Rebecca felt the blessings should be accorded to Jacob. This was because Rebecca favoured Jacob. Surely Isaac knew what God said too, but he felt that Esau being his eldest son, and in accordance to the culture and customs, Esau should be accorded the blessings. This was also because Esau has often prepared the delicious wild catch for his father, Isaac.
As we all know, children of the same parents, brought up and groomed in the same environment, can have different character and personality. Who would then be better? The more active one is not necessarily better than the one who is quiet. How they turn out when they grow up hinges very much on the parents’s attitude, how they encourage and nurture them.
Parents’ conduct and their influence on the children
Isaac knew his time is near, he felt that he should give Esau the blessings as soon as possible. This was the custom then, before the father dies, the father would bless the eldest son, and make way for this blessing to be pass down from one generation to the other. The blessings would also symbolize he would be the legitimate heir or the master of the household. But Isaac would only want Esau to be accorded the blessings. If he followed the local customs, the father should gather all the sons, and in the presence of the relatives and witnesses, bless him openly. (Genesis 49:1-2, 28). We could see from here, Isaac loves Esau so much, he chose his own way to bless him, and as for Esau, he did not object to this arrangement despite the fact he
knew that this would be unfair to his younger brother. For interest of his own self gain he gladly obliged and did what his father wanted to do.
But they were not aware that this conspiracy was overheard by Rebecca, so she called her favourite son, Jacob over and told him the father’s intention. She then demanded Jacob to follow her plan.
Rebecca was decisive and quick to action. She devised so many strategies in such a short time, truly a remarkable person. As for Jacob, he did not object to the idea and did not regard it was inappropriate to cheat his older brother of his blessings. He was only concerned with the consequences if the plan failed. He willingly obliged to the mother’s plan.
Brothers and sisters, we see here how the marriage breakdown affects the parents and children relationship. Because of favouritism and biases, and not seeking God properly to teach our children, this might result in the breakup of the brotherhood and family tragedy. The Bible recorded the incident, not for us to emulate, but to serve as a warning. At the same time, we should reflect on the status of our family relationship. If our relationship is in a mess, is it caused by our own acts? Especially so when we want to lead our family members to Christ. How can we witness for God if our family members avoid to interact with us?
Conclusion
Thanks be to God. It is not that we are hopeless in Jesus Christ, we could choose Christ to be master of our household, and choose to turn the tragedy around. May God help us with grace and wisdom to cultivate the beautiful family connectivity, so that we can actively present Christ in our family relationship, and they will give glory to God when they see our good works. ( Matthew 5:16 )